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maniacidal in safari_horror

Here comes....Mr. Hair!

Whew. Love is definitely in the air in Safari Horror.
Too much MUSH! Ack!
Therefore, here comes Safarian Mission Part 3 to the rescue! (cackles)




The dungeon door slamned shut, echoing faintly after the howls of victory from the hyenas.

“Great! Just g-r-e-a-t,” lamented Giraffe, whose guitar has been taken away.

Wolf just grunted, annoyed.

“This is all your fault! If it wasn’t for you and that bloody…..whatever,we wouldn’t be stuck here! So, I’d suggest you stop whining, moron!”

“Hey, it’s not entirely my fault! Those two dancing weirdos are to blame too! Especially, the Cabbage….” whispered Giraffe, cautiously darting glances at Cabbage.

“God, what’s with you and the Cabbage? I’d say the Penguin is a more fascinating creature, alright?”

“Duh, cause all you see in Penguin is penguin’s meat, you greedy-guts!”


Predicting a fight any second now, Penguin interrupted.

“So, earthly mortals, what should we do now?”

Earthly mortals? Hmm, penguins do have a fascinating way of speech, thought Giraffe curiously, whipping out the black book.

“Wha-,” enquired Giraffe.

“Do NOT interrupt The Great Penguin, dancer of Salsa, when he speaks.” Cabbage hopped in an agitated manner, causing Giraffe to back off instantly.

Penguin coughed self-consciously. “Alright, we shall-”


Before Penguin could formulate any escape plan, (which consists of much flapping since penguins can’t fly) two hyenas marched right up to their cell and unlocked it.

“Hey, prisoners, the King summons you!”

All four animals, (five actually, plus Hamster) stared incredulously at the two hyenas.

“Are you deaf? Move it! The King summons you!,” barked one hyena.

That occupants of the cell went beserk at once.

“OhmiGod! Mr Hair?! Bloody hell!”

“Who’s complaining here, you dumbass! You’re the one who’s going to hell!”

“Who’s this great Mr. Hair that dares stop me and Cabbage from dancing?! No one stops us from dancing!”

“Yes, no one!,” chanted Cabbage.

“Squeak, squeak!,” err, squeaks Hamster.

“MOVE IT!,” barked the Hyena.


The animals tumbled out of the cell hurriedly, led by the mottled looking hyena to the King’s presence. A troop of hyenas soon rounded them from all sides.

There was no way to escape. Great.

“I wondered what Mr. Hair did to my guitar! My poor guitar….” lamented Giraffe.

Wolf didn’t bother replying.

Penguin started, “I’ve been asking for the hundredth time. Who is Mr. Hair? What a derogatory term for your King. Tsk, tsk. Such insolence. Back to where I came from, we-”

Knowing that Penguin could go on for hours, Giraffe cut in. “Thou shall knoweth when thou see-eth the condition of Sir. Hair-eth.” And he hee haw-eth in laughter, giving everyone a generous sight of its err, brilliant-eth molars.

Penguin’s chest puffed up in annoyance, its yellow brow streaks going up and down in an agitated fashion. Flapping its (short) wings, it bellowed,“Thou art the vilest creature I haveth ever cometh across.”

Man, does he look comical or what? Giraffe sniggered loudly.

“Hey, you two imbeciles! Cut it out!”


They had entered the King’s domain. A huge rock jutted out from above a high and lush waterfall, cascading noisily to where they were assembled. Long ivies and vines hung naturally from the rock to the base of the waterfall, like green curtains.

In other words, fit for a king.

Everyone oohed and aahed over the beauty of the place.

“This is the perfect place for salsa dancing!”

“Yes, of course! ‘Perfect’ is the perfect word!,” chanted Cabbage, which drew stares of curiosity and fear from Giraffe.

It has no face. No face!


“Announcing the arrival of  King Julien the Great!,” roared a Hyena.

Chants of wonder faded to silence when King emerge majestically.

Silence as both parties surveyed each other.

Silence which turned into looks of shock and wonder when all animals had done surveying.


The King was just a mop of hair from head to toe. Every inch of its body was covered in hair. There was so much of it that no one could decipher what creature it was beneath all that hair.

Except Giraffe, since he hollered in between snorts, “Looking good, Julien! Better than ever!”

The mop of hair growled, causing the animals to back off hesitantly. It was indeed a queer sight: a mop of hair growling ferociously.

No effect on Giraffe though. “Looks like the hair growth cream has done a marvellous job indeed!”. Neighing for all it was worth, Giraffe lost its balance and fell into the pond with a resounding splash, wetting Wolf deliberately from head to err, paw.

The King had enough.

“SILENCE, all of you!”

And silence came. All eyes were on King aka Mr. Hair. (More of fascination that a mop of hair could speak than of respect.)

Coughing, he spoke, “Before I start questioning all of you, let me tell you how I, King Julien became like this.”

Pausing for a second, he started. “I was once a lion. Proud, majestic, beautiful. But I lacked one thing.”

“Hair!” Giraffe piped in and hee-hawed brazenly.

A dozen hyenas advanced upon Giraffe. Closer and closer.

“Shut UP, moron!” And to prove his point, Wolf sank his claws into one of Giraffe’s spindly legs.

“Owh! Alright! I won’t interrupt!”

“You’d better not, or your spotted head will be right here at my feet!”

Breathing deeply, he continued. “Yes, I lacked hair. It was really shameful as a male lion to have no mane. The girls laughed at me. My brothers call me ‘baldy’. I hated myself.”


“Then, one day, I met….that spotted idiot in front of you. Sensing my problem, he offered me-”.

“Yun Nam Hair Growth Cream!” chanted the monkeys in the trees. Giraffe stifled a snort.

The mop of hair sighed dramatically. “Yes, that’s what it said on the bottle. It’s from the humans.”

“Things went well at first. I was elated that I had a mane finally. I had the longest and thickest mane among all lions. Soon, I was chosen King over my brothers.”

“But then, the hair wouldn’t stop growing! It continued growing over my whole body! Every inch of it was covered with bloody hair till no one recognises me as a lion anymore! And it doesn’t help that someone started the nickname Mr. Hair for me.”

Sighing with tiredness, he ended, “And that was how I turned out like this.”


Silence fell upon the whole assemble. Silence which was laced with slight sadness and pity for King Julien. And guilt for Giraffe.

“And that is why all of you shall pay!” Mr Hair roared suddenly. “Throw all of them into the darkest dungeons! I want them beheaded tomorrow at sunrise!”

“B-but wait, you did not even hear what did we actually did wrong!”

“Don’t punish us! It’s Giraffe you want! Not us!”

“You lousy friend!”

“Who says I’m your friend?!”

“Squeak, squeak!”

“SHUT UP, all of you! I’ve went through enough! Get out of my sight!”

With that, he stormed out of the scene followed by a troupe of hyenas, a mass of hair bobbing on legs. Queer.


Of course, the animals were thrown into the deepest dungeon, rat-infested, filled with damp and mould.

And they were not happy about it.

Wolf growled, “We’ve got to get out before sunrise! Penguin, any plans?”

“No.This dungeon is too deep to climb out. The walls are slippery with damp.”

“Giraffe? Wait, why do I even bother asking.”

Silence. Even Giraffe wasn’t in the mood for smart ass-ey remarks.

“We’re doomed.”



Wakakakaka! Will they survive? Will they be beheaded? Most importantly, will Giraffe find a reverse cure for Yun Nam Hair Growth Cream? (laughs)


Earthly mortals?

Ok, Ice Queen.
[snort] My dear friend...

Archaic speech is a BIG NO for your style. And what penguin says is factual....Thou art the villest creature men hath seen - and that is an UNDERSTATEMENT.

Giff.s got molars? That's humans. Mental.

Julien? Plagiarizing the name of my scissors? Not truly the same but I still call it plagiarism.

Yeah...shutting up is one of you're weaker points...Yun Nam What?

Good point. When am I your friend? (not saying that you are not my buddy)After all the shit treatment you gave me? [laugh] Well, that's your opinion on whether am I or not a friend of yours. [shrug] Though many people would be happy if we are never friends to begin.

Forget that. Never existed.

Anyway good story. Sorry for the 'too much mush' - they are easy to write, that's the prob.
Shit treatment? God, you suck.
Merajuk d lah...(laughs)
What's with you and the whole being-friends-with-me issue?
Always comparing and complaining.
Anyway, it's you who wanted to leave me to face Mr.Hair alone! Wakaka!
Err, the archaic speech was suppose to be funny and ridiculous, not serious. Heh!
I take archaic speech rather seriously. It shows as much data as a person's gait.

If you comprehend what I mean...which I have my doubts.
I suck? Charmed. [grin]

The friend issue...There are people who rather we both don't know each other... [cough]

I will speak of that issue when I feel like it. But hey, its alright if I am not one of your chums. Basically I have the feeling that I am not *******^**^&^**^****^$7.

yea, whatever.
I knew you would come around with the choice of layout I have in mind. [snicker]
it's kinda cute. Heh.
Blinking. Mate - not cool.
Cool is no issue with me mate.

December 2007

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