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adwen_leith in safari_horror

Slash fic: I like your mom / I am busted

Title: I like your mom/ I am so busted
Genere: Humour - oneshot
Warning: NC-17 (I feel it's PG-13...); guy-guy stuff (slash) - easily offends people
Characters: Original
Status: Complete
Synopsis: Kelvin likes David's mom and things is not smooth going from there onwards:

David’s jaws went slack, his expression a mixture of horror, disgust and anger. “What?” he asked with a slight quavering voice.
Kelvin inhaled; taking in a long deep breath and stared at his best friend. He had expected something like this. He cleared his throat as a voice in his head was yelling at him, asking him to stop and calling him with rude names.
“I like your mom.”

Notes: Sorry for any mistakes found within it...and I know, this is one heck of a weird title...This is suppose to be posted in my maniacidal  's community ( a writing community) - safari_horror  . But she being very depressed lately, I think she won't be up and around until late noon or to sad to write or check on anything.
I like your mom / I am so busted
David’s jaws went slack, his expression a mixture of horror, disgust and anger. “What?” he asked with a slight quavering voice.
Kelvin inhaled; taking in a long deep breath and stared at his best friend. He had expected something like this. He cleared his throat as a voice in his head was yelling at him, asking him to stop and calling him with rude names.
“I like your mom.”
The café went extremely silent. Did he say it out to loud? Or was it his imagination? He tried looking at the brunette in front of him. But it proofed difficult when David’s expression was such a complicated one to read.
Those dark eyes went from shock, disgust, anger to disappointment. Slowly those eyes just went blank, losing its brilliant glow.
“I really love her, David.”
David knuckles went white as he gritted his teeth slowly; white anger boiling within him. “Kelvin, that’s my mother.” He controlled his tone and his expression. He would not act irrationally.
But the situation is hardly prudent to start with.
“I know. That’s why I- ” David gestured to Kelvin, pausing the blonde in mid-sentence. David was annoyed. Not with Kelvin. He was annoyed with fate and himself.
Why me?
Kelvin hesitated, “You are my best friend, you should be able to understand.” David glared at Kelvin.
“Understand? What is there to understand? I thought I know you! So now you can even date with your friend’s mother!? You really are a shameless flirt!” David snapped, his voice getting louder by each words uttered.
“Tune it down!” Kelvin retorted, wired and annoyed as well. Annoyed at what? Annoyed at his friend for being so shallow. “This is the twenty-”
“I know what century I am living in! I am the one with good grades here!” David shot a nasty glare at a group of kids at the other table who were sniggering softly.
“Fine! You never liked me because I am the popular one.” Kelvin scoffed and it caught David in a state of surprise and absolute anger.
“Don’t drag that shit in airhead!” David’s lips were a pale pink, his eyes a deep burning crimson.
“So now it is the challenge of IQ?” Kelvin snapped and this time everybody in the café were staring at them, questioning their behaviour.
“I doubt you know what IQ means!” David chuckled maliciously.
Kelvin rose from his seat, knocking the chair over, “Oh yeah? Who was the guy who wept when he sees the football’s equipments?!”
David rose too, his palm slammed on the table with a loud bang. “Excuse me? Who is the guy who came crawling to me when he could not get his homework done? Who was the guy who hid in my wardrobe when his exs found he had cheated them!”
“Oh playing dirty huh! Who was the guy who gets all sentimental when he watched Titanic?!”
“That’s my sister you oaf! You screwed her too! Don’t you forget!” David were now screaming his lungs out.
“What?! She ditched me!” Kelvin hollered as the crowds watched with amusement.
“Oh yeah Romeo? You were two timing with Jessica! I am so surprised that an ape like you could survive so long with two girls without them knowing you had cheated them!”
“You are just jealous!”
“Jealous? Me? So now you are a love consultant?! Ha ha ha! A guy like you with a brain so microscopically tiny can be a love consultant!? How did you even pass your midterm paper, wiseass?!” David cackled.
“Don’t change the topic! You are always foul, dark and moody! No wonder no girls wanted to approach you!”
“Go dip your head in the toilet bowl! I got sacks of love letters from girls during Valentines!”
“What’s on earth is going on?” someone roared from the side. The crowds mused and a sandy hair guy pushed his way through. He was about their age, perhaps slightly older. “What’s the matter with the two of you? We have to practice! We got only three days time to get it right!”
“IT’S HIM!” they both yelled and stomped their feet, back facing one another.
“Oh, God.” Carl slapped his forehead with his palm. “Where are you going?” Carl eyed David.
“Going back home and lock all my doors in case someone wanted to screw the last surviving female in my family from his libido.” David said dryly and walked out from the café as a few heads watched him disappear.
“Hey! We got to practice-”
“I am leaving.” Kelvin mumbled sourly but Carl grabbed his jacket. “Oh no you don’t!”
After the whole fiasco, Carl managed to shake some sense into Kelvin and having a proper conversation that did not ended up going, “David is such an asshole.”
Carl was tempted to bang Kelvin’s head on the lamp post they had just past. But he could not do so. The situation was too sticky for his emotions to get the best of him. But of course the reality was hard to grope even for a guy as civilized as Carl.
“You said what?!” Carl’s expression spoke volumes and Kelvin sulked. “I said I like his mother.”
Carl slapped his palm on his forehead. He should really stop doing that but ever since last fall, things had been awkward between those two. “Kelvin, you are such an idiot.”
“You are as bad as him.” Kelvin growled.
“Me? Sorry, but you are. Nothing new.” Kelvin kicked an empty tin can at that comment and it hit somebody’s red Ferrari. The alarm rang and the two started running, “You just got a promotion.” Kelvin puffed. They could hear a man yelling at them.
Kelvin brows rose, “Really?” His steps wide, steady and constant, it was hard to keep up with him. Indeed a brilliant athlete.
“Yes. You are now a problematic messed up idiot.” Kelvin’s face darkened.
They ran for quite a distant until they could no longer hear the sound of the alarm and a little further in case that man was chasing after them.
“Ok, that’s far enough.” Carl panted and slumped down on the pavement. “Come on Kelvin. Get it straight will you? What happened if you screw his mom?”
Kelvin’s mind clouded with questions and he sat next to Carl, deep in thought. “No, you haven’t thought of that have you?” Carl read Kelvin’s mind and sighed.
“In one way, it makes you his mom’s new boyfriend. Ever since his father left them, he has to suffer his mother’s boyfriends. What if she really likes you?” Carl asked and Kelvin shook his head, not knowing the answer.
“You’ll be David’s dad. His step-dad. His new dad. How is he going to survive knowing that you and his mom are screwing each other in the same house? What if you managed to get her pregnant with your babies? They will be his little siblings and he will never get use to the fact that they were the end sex products between you and his mom. Imagine it happens to you.”
Kelvin went pale slightly. “I never looked at it like that.” he mumbled.
“I thought so. But why her?” Carl stared at Kelvin, “Why did you date his sister at last fall? Ever since you dated his sister, there had been a slight falling out between the both of you and I had to suffer in your silent squabble. Can’t you guys just get it out and be honest with each other?”
Kelvin looked away, he did not feel very good in the inside. He hated that troubling feeling and that nagging voice. He just wanted a way to shut that voice and that awful feeling.
“Looking back, you had a sudden change of appetite as well.” Carl frowned at that passing thought which he discarded as soon as it appeared.
Kelvin stared at Carl. “What? Don’t look at me like that. You make me felt like some badass.”
Slowly Kelvin realized every mistake he had done. “I am so busted.” He stood up and started running.
“OI!!!” Carl yelled, startled. “THE PRACTICE!!!”
“GO AHEAD ON YOUR OWN!!!” Kelvin replied back.
Kelvin kept running. What Carl said was true.
Not the he needed to practice part.
No. It was not about him being David’s dad if he screwed his mom.
It was the fact that he was a problematic messed up idiot.
Carl fumed silently as he watched his friend vanished into the horizon. He cursed and walked toward the bus station. He paused and looked around. “Now, where am I?”
David fingered his electric guitar fondly. Its jet black body was constantly cleaned by David. He just adore the colour black. Black, grey, maroon, navy blue, forest green and earthly hues were his favourite.
Ok, he was a dull guy.
He sighed. Slowly his fingers plucked the threads and he began to play his guitar with utmost passion. The thought of Kelvin and his mom made him cringed in disgust and anger.
The guitar shrieked and he quickly pushed the thought aside. Thank god no one was at home.
He sighed and was about to play another song when something crashed through his window and knocked him on the head. Surprised and pissed he turned around. His hand flew to the back of his head rubbing the sore part. It was a piece of pebble. No it was a stone. To large to be considered a pebble. Whoever threw this would regret living.
“DAVID!” a voice called from below.
David frowned and his face darkened.
“What is it dickhead?!” David snapped, leaning out from the window. “Aren’t you satisfied of messing up my life, must you make it so difficult for me to live in? How am I supposed to explain this?” he pointed at the window. Exasperation creeping from his voice and gestures.
“Open the door!” Kelvin said.
“What? I am not that stupid! I know what you want dickhead and I am warning you. I will call the cop if you don’t leave!”
“Stop being an asshole!” Kelvin growled.
David stared at Kelvin haughtily. “Fine.” Kelvin mumbled.
“Good. Get lost.” David snorted as he watched Kelvin walked away.
He walked away from the window and slumped on his bed. He frowned at the ceiling. If the ceiling could speak, it would have commented on his rather childish behaviour. He should really stop being such a –
He sat up, his thoughts interrupted. What was that? He went toward the window and leaned out.
“Fuck.” he said as he Kelvin propped the ladder against his house and started climbing up.
“Where did you get that ladder?!” David demanded.
“Your garage. You never locked its door.” Kelvin smirked and David shuddered.
Quickly he closed each and every window in his room.
“You’re so stupid.” David laughed meanly and he heard Kelvin chuckled. “Look who is talking.”
“I never told you this, or anyone, you act stupid and rash under pressure.”
David frowned.
Finally he realized.
Too late.
Kelvin’s slipped his hand into the cracked window and pulled the window frame up. David stood there, gawping as his inner voice called him an idiot. Kelvin pushed himself into the room and tumbled into his room.
“I worked better under pressure.” Kelvin smiled.
David’s mind raced, “Go away! You just broke entry into my house! I will call the cops and you will never be able to come near my mom again!”
“David, please listen.” Kelvin tried soothing David’s crankiness.
“Listen? Listen to your crazy ideas of screwing my mom!?” David snapped, jumping on the spot.
Kelvin sniggered a little. “What are you laughing at dickhead?!” David flustered.
“Ok, sorry but you…” Kelvin paused. No, better not mentioned it. “Just listen ‘k?”
“You listen here! Get your ass out of my house!” David folded his arms and fixing a deadly glare at Kelvin.
“No, you listen here ok! I said leave! You never cared about anyone, don’t you!? You never thought about me have you! I am getting tired of you! I always tolerated you but I should have not! I hate you!” David shouted as his eyes stung with hot tears.
He inhaled sharply, tears streamed down his cheeks. He wiped them of. Eight years of friendship now down the drain. There was nothing to be ashamed about that but for then, it was. Kelvin was his best friend. How could he?
He tried to calm himself. He rationalized silently and with a dragging wariness he finally spoke, “What are you doing here.” It was not a question. It was not a demand either. But it was snappy. Kelvin rolled his eyes.
Kelvin walked forward and laid his hands on David’s shoulders. He sighed. “Ok, I came here to say sorry.”
“I know you might not forgive me, but I realized something.”
David snorted. “I am shocked.”
“There is no need to be so nasty.” Kelvin said with slight irritation. “Actually, I realized something very important.”
David’s heart raced. What could be so important?
“I like Jessica a lot.”
David froze. A dark cloud rested on his mind. “Get lost dick-”
Kelvin laughed. “What is so funny?” David snapped.
The next thing he realized he was pulled into a kiss. It was short and chaste. When Kelvin pulled away David felt empty. He also felt extremely stupid.
“I am sorry. I love you all along but I am just afraid of losing you.” Kelvin said, taking a few steps back.
David felt his cheeks burning furiously but he kept his cool. “So after all this while, you only understand it now?”
“A few minutes ago. I thought you are straight. I assume I was straight.” Kelvin smiled sheepishly.
“You are such a dickhead.”
“I know. But you are my asshole after all.”
Puzzled with his choice of words, David repeated, “Your asshole?”
“Yes. After all, I am your dickhead and you are well, an asshole.”
Still frowning, David shook his head. “Let me show you.” Kelvin towered David and pushed David gently on top of the bed.
It became clear to David what Kelvin meant. He blushed and this time it clearly showed. Kelvin chuckled and planted a few kisses along David’s collarbone. David feeling weirdly sensual as every sense of his body pricked with delight.
Kelvin lips were drawn back to his. This time the kiss was demanding as if their lives depended on it. It was long and it broke a few times as the boys realized they needed to breathe. David gasped as Kelvin’s hand traveled southward and were resting on his crotch.
Fingers drawing circles on his crotch was only blocked by a denim cloth. David mewled and he was surprised by the noise he just made. Kelvin smirked, liking it a lot. “I like you better this way.”
His fingers doing dirty and unimaginable things as soon as Kelvin unzipped David’s jeans. David whimpered, feeling those talented fingers sliding along his skin. David blushed and trusted his body upward. Kelvin smirked at the reaction and nibbled David’s earlobe and left a wet trail of saliva from his neck to his collarbone.
“Kelvin!” David gasped as Kelvin’s finger’s circled his hole. A finger was rubbing the skin around it gently, teasing poor David. “Love your voice…” Kelvin purred as he further teased David by sliding the finger into the hole slightly. David squirmed, panting. Kelvin was hard but he wanted to it to last long.
He pulled David’s pants off, no longer able to control his manly needs.
David yelped only to be silent by another kiss. Pulling away, he smiled as he noticed David’s lips were far redder than its usual colour and it was bleeding at the lower lip. Kelvin grabbed those fair thighs and pulled them above his shoulder as he leaned downward.
Feeling hot breaths tickling his pubic area David arched his body closer to the sultry heat. He felt something burning hot swallowing his whole as he felt those strong hands pushing his legs further apart.
He felt so open. He felt so weak, vulnerable toward those hungry eyes. Whimpering between delight and despair for more, he felt that clever tongue working on his. It was hot and drugging the tongue when lashed out, lapping that sensitive skin slowly but nowhere near gentle.
When Kelvin’s mouth left his, David felt that he would go insane. He was growing extremely hard and he was seeping. He whined and stopped when those sweet lips wrapped around its head.
David trusted forward when Kelvin nibbled its head softly. David cried in pain and in pleasure.
Kelvin licked the beading fluid that flowed out. It was sweet and silky; almost nectar like. The noises David made just made Kelvin harder. He leaned down, licking the soft strip that leaded to David’s hole. A hand grabbed those balls roughly but caused no damage but a wave of sensual pleasure that rewarded Kelvin with one of David’s whimpering.
Kelvin pushed the thighs further away, his fingers rubbing the soft pale skin. “If I knew you were that good, I should have screwed you first.” Kelvin joked, panting hard. David wanted to snap at that remark but he failed to find his voice and he failed to think straight.
“What are you doing?” David whined or begged when he felt Kelvin’s tongue sliding into his hole. “Preparing you love.”
He whined when the tongue slid out. Kelvin chuckled, “Patient.” Kelvin then slid a finger in and pushed it in all the way. He watched David’s lewd body begging for more. He smiled and slid another finger in. “Kelvin! I can’t hold it-”
“I might be too big for you. I don’t want to tear you.” And Kelvin slid a third finger in. He was losing his own patience as well. “Please stop.” Kelvin heard David sobbed but he knew that it was not true. David’s body wanted more. No longer able to hold his errection, he unzipped his pants and pulled out his.
“Hey, have you guys make out yet? I am tired of-” Carl said as he finally reached the top of the ladder, his eyes nearly popped out from their sockets. “Ok…”
David blushed harder and was begging Kelvin to stop. Kelvin frowned and scowled at Carl. His scowl turned into a smirk. “Oh we are making out. So do you care to give us some privacy?”
Carl just nodded, obviously shocked and grossed out. “Just-”
“We know. Give it a break. Get back to your girl before she feels neglected” Kelvin said with a drawl.
“I guess I will.” Carl said and quickly climbed down the ladder.
Carl cringed. “Is everything alright?” Sweet Melinda asked. “Everything is fine.” he lied quickly.
Melinda smiled and leaned on his shoulder. Her sandy brown hair flowed softly down his shoulder. He inhaled the scent of her shampoo. Honey. He shut his eyes feeling her gentle presence next to him.
“No worries Carl.” she said, knowing well he had lied. “Every cloud has its silver lining.”
Carl frowned at that statement. Well that was quite true. He no longer needed to slap his forehead, that was for sure. On the plus side, he no longer needed to get stuck between them in the awkward angst-like silence and acting as their messenger boy. Not bad at all. They might see each other frequently.
He looked down at Melinda and kissed her forehead. “Well thank you for reminding me, sunshine.” She chuckled and punched him lightly on his shoulders. “The weather is lovely isn’t it?”
“Well, indeed it is. I have not seen the sky this clear for ages.” he replied, squinting up at the bright blue sky. Not a cloud in sight. He could feel the gentle breeze brushing his face. It lifted his spirit.
Not only that, he smiled inwardly. Their gay vibes might help their band to sell out more, since current fangirls were so damn horny. Ah, how he love foreshadowing!
The End!!!
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Damn you, the first story was my story bout carrot...


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December 2007

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